Get out of the Friend's Zone

Being stuck as a friend when you REALLY like someone is one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through. To be stuck in that “mode” with no hope in sight when you really care for the other person is very disheartening. It could be someone you just met and they have put you in the “friend zone” or it could be someone you’ve known for a while.

No matter what the situation, the circumstances of you being in the friend’s zone are almost always universal. The woman you want doesn’t see you in a sexual or romantic light, while you of course have intimate feelings of some kind at least for the other person. Don’t worry though, because all is not lost and you can get out of the friends zone!

The first thing you need to do is to really consider your relationship with this person. Getting out of the friend’s zone is very much a one way road. Once you decide to go for it, you need to be prepared for the absolute best and the absolute worst. Do you really enjoy spending time with this person casually? What would it mean to you if everything went perfect and you were able to be with her? What would it mean to you if you two never spoke again? If you think it’s worth it (personally, if you feel this strongly about the person to be reading this I’d say it is) then continue reading…

The first thing you need to do is to change the dynamic. Something is going wrong and so we have to figure out what it is. The most common reason men get put in the friend’s zone is because they make themselves too available. Are you always there to answer her when she calls? Do you call her regularly? Whenever she asks to hang out do you go out of your way to spend time with her? Stop all of these things. You need to make her miss your presence. Personally I recommend going at least two-three weeks without any contact at all, then start slowly getting back into contact with them. Make them crave you; make yourself hard to get a hold of.

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The second thing you need to do is to put yourself in demand. This works well with making yourself scarce as I said in the last paragraph because it actually adds VALUE to your life. Get a hobby (I suggest a gym personally). Start going out regularly. Start flirting with women and start going out, essentially what you need to be doing is showing her that she isn’t the only thing in your life and that you are a very awesome person that could add tons of value to her life.

Now it’s time to role these two basic steps together if you want to get out of the friend’s zone. Eventually when you do reward them with your presence, make it brief and controlled. Always leave at the top of a conversation or the top of a lunch date. Let them see the new and the transformed “you” but give it to them a piece at the time. A golden rule I like to use is the two steps forward, one step back rule. Give them a call two days in a row, then ignore them for a few days. Call them up for a date, give them the best time of their life, and then be a ghost for a while. Hot and cold. Change it up and keep things different.

Doing all of these things in succession will change the dynamic. And if you take your time and do it right, she will no longer see you as friend material, because let’s face it, friend material=safe and predictable and this is the last thing that you want to be.

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